As most of you know from class, I lost my job because of the massive budget cuts taking place in education right now.  I am not sure what the plan is from here, so if anyone has any suggestions, I am all ears.  In addition to figuring out what I am going to do with the rest of my life, or at least when my paycheck stops coming in, I am trying to plan a wedding that is less than two months away...I spent eight hours working on invitations (I went the do it yourself route to save money) and with the help of a friend, I got them all put together.  Now comes the task of finding a million addresses. I have cried twice.  I did like fifteen of them before my mom came in and told me I was addressing them wrong.  I was supposed to put Mr and Mrs john doe.  Instead I wrote John and Mary Doe...My mom was like "your an english eacher, you should know that".  I never had a class on addressing letters for weddings.  I must have missed that one.  And there are all of these rules for weddings.  Rules no one actually knows.  The whole thing is a bit silly. I am tired of everyone's stupid opionons.  I don't know how many times I had to tell people I did not want bbq.  Yes, it's an outdoor wedding, but I'm not a big fan of bbq and neither is Dylan, especially in a white dress.  I think listening is a dying art. Everyone tells you "its your wedding, do what you want".  What you don't expect is what comes next.  After telling you to do it your way, they tell you what their way is.  My dad told me its just a ceremony and a party.  If you try to make it anything more yopu will always be disappointed.  I agree with this. 

A Trip to the Nurse's Office...

I just stabbed myself in the foot with a pencil.  I was walking down the hall and accidentally kicked a pencil some kid left on the ground.  It was caried forward with on foot deep inside my other foot.  I am almost positive the lead broke off inside.  I limped my way into the nurse's office were she dug around for a while before putting a bandaid over it (I get the impression she could not see well).  There was alot of blood.  All of the kids in there with me seemed pretty impressed that teachers could bleed also.  Mt foot still really hurts and I am exhausted...Hopefully things will start looking up soon.

Will Weaver and other things

I got to eat lunch with Will Weaver today.  He is the author of several young adult novels and short stories.  He vivited our school and all of the English teachers were allowed an entire hour for lunch to eat with our guest.  I am not sure what was more exciting though...meeting a famous author or getting an entire hour for lunch!  I only wish I wasn't so incredibly tired today so I could have enjoyed his company more.  He was an interesting man. Today in his lecture he commented that writing is such a private thing that it is facinating to see it from the public side.  He enjoyed visiting schools because it allowed for him to really see how his private work impacts others. (Some of the kids even wrote thier own endings to his cliffhanger novels and were very excited to talk to Mr. Weaver about his books)  He also said that writing was a process and that while writing is a solitary thing, it takes a team to make a book.  Of course, scholars that we are, we know all of these things.  We know them perhaps a little too well though, in that we don't give them much thought anymore...or at least I don't.  In respect to my research paper (which is not much more than a series of very loose ideas at this point) I think it is important to remind myself of these three simple truths about writing.  #1 Writing is a private solitary thing...in other words, at the very heart of it, the ideas and the paper has to stem from within myself.  This is true whether the nature of the paper is personal or academic (or both in this case)  Sometimes I find myself searching through books and syllabuses and websites (which is necissary) while what I have been looking for was inside myself the entire time.  Sometimes I think I need to stop listening to the world and simlpy put pen to paper and see where it takes me.  #2. Process....revision...many drafts...enough said.  I think too often I have turned in papers that have not been refined enough.  This is going to be a focus for me in this project.  #3 It takes a team.  From my loving fiance who will drive all the way to corpus with me for company when we have shortened class, to Joanie's chocolate, to Ada's funny post reminding me spring break is almost here, to Dr. K's helpful comments and guidence...(and the list goes on) it really will take a team to keep me going, not only for the project, but for this class.  I am completely worn out at this point.  It will take a team not only to help me revise and refine my ideas for my paper, but to come out of this semester and school year okay.  Thank you Will Weaver, for reminding me of some basic writing concepts that I knew all along, and to my own unofficial team that keeps me going from day to day and assignment to assignment.

The principal's office...

       Yesturday I got called into the pricipal's office...It was a bad week all around really, but this just topped it off.  My students were assigned a famous African-American to research (we had just finished a book about the 1960's and racial relations).  The had a list of questions they had to answer via research about thier person.  For once, the kids were excited about what they were doing.  They each had someone different so they were very excited to tell someone about what they found out.  And then, the principal's office...Not just me either, but my two partners in crime, the other two sixth grade English teachers.  Apparently what we were doing was not "TAKS" test related. In other words, because it was not multiple choice, because the kids actually had to analyze articles and answer open ended  questions with thier research, because it resembled the real world a little more closely than it reseambled the state test, we got shut down mid-project.  It was somewhere in that office that I thought "What in the Fuck am I doing here?" I don't know who the idiots are that come up with all of this stupid shit for teachers to do everyday, like teach kids how to take a test with a b c d (Yes, life is just like that), but I know one thing for sure, they are not teachers. 
            This brings me to my second point in frustration.  There is alot of talk about teachers/education/budget cuts in the news lately.  Yes, lets cut salaries of teachers and cut positions so there are even more kids stuffed into classrooms.  Oh, and I saw on the news that the average teacher makes 55,0000 dollars a year.  Yeah, maybe if they have been teaching for twenty years.  I get about 36,000 a year.  My pay check after taxes is 2,400 $.  Rent and utilites are 1,000...food, gas, grad. school, oh, and all of the things I buy for my classroom and my kids out of my own paycheck...Yeah, I am making the big bucks.  And I don't even have kids.  Oh and there is was also something about how teachers get all of these great benifits.. Do I have health insurance? Yes, I pay 245.00 a month for it. Just for me.  My mom is a teacher and pays 600.00 a month for the family plan.  Great benefits...So now, if teachers don't get fired, they may get paid less. Awesome.  Nobody teaches for the money because the money sucks and the job is too hard.  Maybe if lawmakers and politicians would listen to the people who are in classrooms with kids everyday, the system would not be so broken...Oh, one more thing.  There was a comment that teaching is a part time job on one of the newscasts.  Again, I don't know where the hell those jobs are.  I am required to be on campus from 7:45 to 4:15.  I am teaching from 8:05 to 4:05 with 30 minute lunch...Then I go home with my stack of papers, tests, essays that my kids did that day and begin to grade.  It's a more than full time job.  And it sucks. 
       Anyways, this week has not been a fun one.  A week and a half until spring break.  I hope I can hold together until then.  I am doing everything I can to just keep my head above water...

Random Thoughts

       I am not sure what to say really.  That's the trouble with freedom.  Once you get it, you have to figure out what you will do with it.  I will start with an introduction of my self.  Hello. My name is Tammy, not Tamara.  My last name is Long soon to be Gambill.  I always wondered about that when I was younger.  You see my name is one of those that you have to be careful who you marry.  For instance, I did not want to have the "Long-Johnson" wedding, or the "Long-Cox" wedding.  Better to stray from anything falic.  (though I suppose long is better than short) And since my middle name is Lee, most people assume I am Asian.  Yes, Tammy Lee Long.  I am asked often if I am part Asian.  I am not sure how to respond to this.  Gambill is something I can live with, although Long Gambill is still kinda funny.
    I just stepped out of this blog for an emergency fire evacuation.  Apparantly an eigth grade science experiment went horrible wrong...But, besides a lot of smoke, everthing turned out okay.   The kids will just be wild for the rest of the day and now I am short on time to finish this post.
          I am looking forward to this class.  I have taken a few courses where I had to write about myself such as Autobiography and a class with Dr. Jackson, but this is my first graduate experinece in doing this.  For my paper, I am looking at the thread of ESL papers I have written while examining a book my great-grandmother wrote to help children learn English.  I have a special passion for working with students who are just learning English and I wander where it stems from.  Is it nature or nuture or both? My great grandma was an English teacher and had and advanced degree in English.  How strong is the connection between what I am doing and what she did?  What will her book tell me? All of these questions hang in the air, as they have for many years. 
  For now, that is what I have to say.  My name is Tammy and I am looking at my past and present and future through the assignment.
    
 

Hello out there

Just posting to see if it works...